Doing Activities You and Your Partner Both Love
As a working mum, it can be incredibly difficult to continue doing activities you once loved to do. When was the last time you read a good novel, played a board game with friends or had a restaurant lunch that wasn't tied in with work? And when did you last spend any quality time with your man?
When you and he first met, you probably took long weekend walks together, spent lazy afternoons visiting country pubs or antique fairs, and spent every Sunday morning in bed. You may have gone to football games together, never missed an art film at the local cinema, and had a Chinese meal every two weeks. But if your idea of a good time together now is not arguing over who has the remote control or whose turn it is to make the coffee, it's time to re-evaluate your relationship and start having fun again.
At the end of a busy working day, once the children are tucked up in bed most of us want nothing more than to fall asleep in front of the telly – and the weekends are usually spend catching up with work, helping with homework and driving the kids to football lessons and birthday parties. It's no wonder that having fun with your man is often one of the first aspect of a relationship that falls by the wayside once the kids come along.
But it doesn't have to be that way...
Joint Activity Suggestions
It's easy to get back on the right track. Here are some suggestions for joint activities both of you could love, which don't have to cost the Earth.
- Take up a hobby. Shared interests can bring people together – and it doesn't have to be stamp collecting or trainspotting. Why don't you and your partner take a foreign language class together, start collecting rare coins or search for things at car boot sales to sell on eBay? The only thing that matters is that you're both having fun.
- Fitness for the fun of it. Going for a walk together, cycling or even joining a spinning class can do wonders for your fitness level – and even your sex life. Get those endorphins flowing by working up a sweat – inside and out of the bedroom.
- Play with boy toys. Many men are still little boys at heart, and haven't really grown up yet. Maybe your husband or partner loves model trains, likes to bowl or enjoys paintballing at the weekends. Suggest a fun activity that you know he will enjoy, such as mini golf or go-karting. Who knows, it might not be as horrible as it sounds...
- Join a group. Group activities may sound naff, but shared interests can bring even the most unlikely of companions together. Join a book club, a restaurant circle or a find a local cinema buff group. If he can't do it with you - or if he doesn't want to - then do it alone. At least you'll have something new to talk about.
- Involve the kids. Adulthood is the perfect time to enjoy activities you loved as a child. If your husband used to sail, for example, once the kids are a bit older going sailing can be a fantastic family activity. Ditto with camping, dancing and even rollerskating!
- Do it on the cheap. Some activities require money, such as a night out on the town, a flutter at the local casino or a season ticket to a West End theatre. But there are other activities the two of you can do together that don't cost a thing. Take a stroll in the park, go window shopping, turn your breakfast into a picnic. What's key is to do it together.
Time for Yourself
- Having time for yourself is also important, as is allowing your partner to have time for himself. Time out can be simple, such as reading a book, having a bath or writing in a journal. It can also involve activities you love such as getting a massage, taking an art class or having dinner with girlfriends. Similarly, your man will need some space on his own, whether it's down the pub with his mates, out for a run or having dinner with old schoolfriends. We all need to connect with the person we once were, and often this needs to be done on our own, by ourselves.
Many long-married couples find the pressures of everyday life tend to overtake everything else. It can be hard to simply have a good time when you're too exhausted, too busy worrying about the children, or too frantic with work commitments. But making time for activities you enjoy can give you a new lease on life, as can having the space to do things you thought you'd never have time to do. Get stuck in and you won't look back!